The seams in our socks

Today, the seams in my socks hurt.

They have never bothered me before. Not once. But today, every time I walk from my desk to the kitchen and back again, I feel them — a small ridge pressing against my toes. Such a tiny thing. And yet I cannot stop thinking about it.

Years ago, my mother used to complain about the seams in her socks. I would nod sympathetically and say the right things. But if I’m honest, it was mostly for show. Deep down, I thought she was being fussy — or that age had simply made her overly sensitive. I remember thinking, I will never be like that. I have more important things to focus on than sock seams.

And yet today, here I am, distracted by something I once dismissed.

It’s humbling to realize how easy it is to underestimate someone else’s discomfort when you’ve never felt it yourself.

At Bergen CASA, we train our Advocates to truly listen — to our families and to our foster children — and to try to see the world from their perspective. We ask them to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

But that is hard work.

Because while empathy begins with imagination, real understanding often comes from lived experience.

That is why we recruit Advocates from all walks of life. If someone has navigated educational challenges as a parent, we try to match them with a child who has educational needs. If someone has a medical background, we may place them on a case involving complex health issues. Every person brings something unique — their education, their life experience, their perspective.

Those experiences become bridges.

The seams in my socks are small. Ordinary. Invisible — until they’re not.

Sometimes empathy grows in the smallest places. And sometimes, it begins with simply realizing that what feels minor to us may feel enormous to someone else.

If you’ve ever lived through something that changed how you see the world, you may be exactly the Advocate a child is waiting for.

I’ll be back to tell you more about CASA. ‘Til then, I remain,