A Story That Stayed With Me

Not long ago, one of our Advocates met two eight-year-old boys living in foster care. It was her first time seeing them, and when she came back, she told me something that stopped me in my tracks.

The boys told her, very matter-of-factly, that they didn’t want to go back to live with their mother. They were adamant.

Now, their mother had done everything required by DCP&P. She’d completed services, tested clean, secured housing through a Section 8 program, and was making strides. On paper, things were improving.

But the boys’ reality was different.

They’d lived through years of instability—addiction, homelessness, neglect. Their mother had been unreliable. They’d been left alone for days at a time. Over the years, they lost faith in her ability to care for them.

Eventually, they asked for something that most kids in the system don’t even know they can request—they wanted to speak directly to the judge.

And when they did, they were incredibly convincing. Not because they were coached, but because they were being honest, speaking from their lived experience.

As the case unfolded, it became clear that their mother, despite her efforts, was still struggling. She relapsed and her life remained unstable. In the end, the boys were adopted by their foster mother, a woman who already had her own children.

Today, they’re thriving. They’re safe. Stable. Happy. They’re even on the honor roll.

And while their biological mother is still part of their lives in small ways—photos, occasional calls—she’s largely unreachable. Her life remains disrupted by the same forces that once disrupted their lives.

This story illustrates a fundamental truth: sometimes the system struggles when a case doesn’t fit neatly into policy guidelines.

Unrelated adoptions, for example, are often hard to navigate. The system can resist them, even when they’re clearly the best and most loving option for a child.

But CASA has the flexibility to approach each case from a different angle. We don’t ignore the importance of family—we just focus on the child’s best interest above all else.

When we speak in court, we do so with a singular purpose: to answer the question: *What does this child need to be safe, stable, and supported—not just today, but for the rest of their life?

I’ll be back to tell you more about CASA. ‘Til then, I remain,